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December 24, 2005
Highway Robbery
thread will be updated continuously thru the night, long as it goes
Given the socioeconomic significance of this time of year, not to mention the psycho-pathology embedded, it is worthy to dig into the Bible, at least once. A good source is Slate.com. Jesus and the Gospel, What Really Happened is a good start. The idiosyncratic habits of the American consumers, with special regards to the Christmas dinner is another, ergo, What Beast is This?. Third in my list is The Meaning of Life, who does not want to dig that? Alast, The Maccabees and the Hellenists or Hanukkah as Jewish civil war.
While Slate does a good job at offering interesting views on a matter that is after all relevant to believers as to non(s), my shopping spree sports a short list of essentials that has no much to do with the deep thinking.
If anything you want me to buy just convince me and I shall.
List below, gifts included unless undisclosable. All acquired via 2 separate runs, one in the morning, another between 1400 and 1600 (when traffic rating is low). At evening last-minute shoppers are packed in their cars in a horrible smoky mess. You want to stay away from this war of nerves.
Here we go, by brand and/or country of origin:
6 avocados, Israel
2 plates, mushrooms, large, local produce
2 boxes of falafel, Lebanon
sev, refried beans and tortillas, imported, Texas, USA
sev, Ice Cream, which must include, for the joy of many, Amen, chocolate
2 green tea and 2 "turkish" tea boxes, Aze Baba, Istambul, Turkey {a real kick-ass}
1 "fedora" hat, dark blue, size 57, by Fred W. Taylor, made in Italy (gift to myself)
3 2 x lit. carton boxes of juice, Pfanner, Austria
2 bottles of Domaine Capendu, 2003, France (N/A in Italy, thanks Mario, my wine pusher)
2 bottles of Chateau Tarreyrots, 2001, France (same + thanks as above)
2 bars of Lindt Chocolate, Swiss
1 kg Cous Cous, unbranded
1 kg long grain Basmati rice, India
1 "box turtle", our second barnyard animal (gift to Rosie), referred to as "Romeo". If these guys end up in a friendly couple, they will be reffered to as "Rolls Royce" (they were spotted taking the sunbath together today [they have a lamp just for that])
1 fluffy cat, white, black, gray and pink by LR-kids, Italy (gift to Melissa who wanted a REAL one)
1 box Walkers, shortbread, Scotland, UK
2006 Calendar, Fairfax Photos, Sydney NSW (gift from Fairfax, a just-in-time)
6 skeins of wool, 127 Print (for Wendy's scarf project), Italy
8 skeins of Grinordette, Shetland (for Wendy, TBD), Italy
6 skeins of Brilla, three yellow and three purple (for a striped top project that I pushed on the spot), Italy
1 can giant pickles, Poland (startling new entry in my list)
Warsteiner, Germany (enough to support 6 people for 2 days)
6 bottles of Corona, Mexico
6 bottles of Fisher, Germany
1 "Patrick", balloon, the Spongebob's Cartoon Series (gift to Melissa)
4 corn-on-the-cob, USA
Rambol, soft herb cheese, France
Taleggio, soft cheese, Italy
2 Pinot-Chardonnay, Italy
1 Malesan, bordeaux, 2002, France
2 Sanderman, port, Portugal
1 Sheridan's, Portugal
2 kg tuna, sliced, bloody and local
Feta, Greece (heavily used in our salads)
sev, swordfish, thin-sliced, local (I will be basically make "sushi" with these. I'll explain Sicilian sushi on another occasion.)
Glaring omission (could not be found): Cointreau
Down this year: vodka
Not in the list, accessories or prime necessities. Absent is meat, this year, we have stock sausage and steaks for the carnivore friends, absent is pasta, which we rarely eat.
colors of this week: bore brown and crimson red
suggested local policy amendments (active thru the week):
#1: mandatory 1 hour aft. nap (kids may skip this)
#2: give up the car and walk
#3: do not ALLOW guests to turn TV on during lunch/dinner
what made us so happy: advance deposit from xxxxxx.xx
2345: fireworks - what are we watching: Constantine, 2005... taking from Dante's Comedy... The Spear of Destiny has been missing... Kiddo gives it for sure that Santa is not bringing ME anything, not because I've been bad but because Santa only makes toys. Brr... but I know 2 beer mugs and a shirt are on the way. (kiddo will get a Musical Box, glass-made, and truckloads of beads)
2355: First bottle of Capendu to hit the deck. Is almost impossible to rate this wine. The entry smell is balanced, distinct, the body amazing. A rose' that is almost peachy.
It's midnight. If anybody wants to go to the mass I am available to escort, my iPod is fully charged. None of the crew seems to be interested (a church is 2 blocks South).
0010: Osama Bin Laden's niece is a cute black headed 26 old that has never met the Uncle. She experiments with pop, guitar, pic of guitar between skinny legs and another, spreading in bed on a pose worth a "fatwa". The cherry ice cream fits the soft-porn niece's pics. Not looking bad.
0015: I love Tilda Swinton. Here they get as close as 2 inches, lips by lips. She is Gabriel, the Archangel, unfortunately, the only sex they have is when she spits it out about his lung cancer, You're fucked. Is baby Jesus born yet?
0025: I have to remember not to wear my hat with my black leather jacket. If I do people are really gonna expect me to be hiding a cow or horse under the back pocket.
0035: Kiddo crashes with a smile, faithful that she's getting her gifts soon. We have to be careful about timing here. To assure her I called Santa right before closing time and he told me he'll be around and loaded by 0300. First bottle of port hits the deck.
0045: Constantine is in Capitol Hell, reading into the future. Even the cat is scared when he comes back to life smoking. And hungry. The weed must have been of the best quality.
0100: We know now that Heaven and Hell are real, the newfound revelation clears out the scene. Rachel Weisz is kind of stiff in this movie, despite the twins complication in the plot. Part 1 over and break granted to all the present. Gifts are (secretly) being laid out under the tree.
0115: They have bibles in Hell! And those who can read it get killed the most bizarre ways. Jews don't have the bible (actually they positively lack the Gospels). Hence: no scary demons movies. And no porn tax. Moses talks to God and he gets scared, in the Gospels Jesus talks to the Devil (who wishes to negotiate). You can see, a different scale of gore. Quiet town, on beer and newfound (d)ope.
0125: Conservation of energy is possibly the most important, and certainly the most practically useful of several conservation laws in physics. To actually get born you have to die first. Something's missing in the books. Red Bull time. The burritos are coming back in "spirit" form. We're all laughing and is nobody's fault.
0130: Brass knuckles are for hard-boiled. With crosses on them they kick asses. It's time to die. Corintians, 17. Is there a witness protection program for deamons?
0135: Where did she go? Constantine can not jump like Neo thru buildings. Too bad. We need to use the chair. To use the chair (back in Hell, boy) you need cold feet, Moonshine, gin and well, balls. Now it's getting cheesy. Bullets are being made out of holy brass crosses. Is it gonna work? Need more beer to believe what I see.
0140: After the machine gun scene with the demolishable zombies, the very maternal Gabriel the Archangel, and out of her mind, is back reclaiming the baby on a primitive scapel. But she's to be floating with the dead, despite her beautiful rolled-up tongue English. I dunno if it is God or the Devil himself, maybe both. He's dressed in white like a dove. The girl gave birth to something and Daddy wants it back. The Devil has feelings for his kids.
0150: The man in white has been going thru too many sleepless night, as it seems. After an intermission with cashews and a cold enough Corona everything boils down, lungs are replaced, cancer removed, extension granted. Isn't that what everybody wants anyway? An extension?
0200: Reeves has been going thru a lot of stuff: tragedy in the family, girlfriend killed in a traffic accident, we almost are relieved that he still is alive. It must be visible, right on his face, so sad (and woody) when it's to kill an angel. And he DOES NOT kill her. Choose a higher power if you have to be slave to one.
0220: Baby Jesus is born. Heaven(s) and Hell are happy. The wheel resets, fowarding for Spring. We're going to quietly rest down to wake up again tomorrow. A lifetime-long embarrasment has vanished by a ritual worth an hour. We can party until New Year's now. For the day, the lights die down. And my Corona is still half full. I'll do the dishes in the morning, for breakfast.
Posted by lck at December 24, 2005 10:54 PM
